Simplicity. Stillness. Room to Think.
November 2022
Wild Turkeys Ate My Roof!
by Chris E Hammond
by Chris E Hammond
Don't feed the wildlife
We have a tremendous number of wild turkeys here in southern Oregon. You will see them everywhere.
We have a friend about 25 miles up the road in Roseburg who lives in a fairly densely populated suburban area.
Yet, there are turkeys in the streets and everywhere. He chases them away because he does not like them pooping in his driveway. A large flock of wild turkeys can make quite a mess.
But some folks like to feed them.
And when a large flock begins to feel comfortable hanging around like they own the place, well, that can spell trouble.
We have a tremendous number of wild turkeys here in southern Oregon. You will see them everywhere.
We have a friend about 25 miles up the road in Roseburg who lives in a fairly densely populated suburban area.
Yet, there are turkeys in the streets and everywhere. He chases them away because he does not like them pooping in his driveway. A large flock of wild turkeys can make quite a mess.
But some folks like to feed them.
And when a large flock begins to feel comfortable hanging around like they own the place, well, that can spell trouble.
Let's talk turkey
There's a couple of things you may not know about wild turkeys. They don't have teeth. So their digestive system requires something called grit. Grit is basically small gravel and pebbles that they eat. Not too flavorful but it does the trick to break down seeds and other tough, fibrous food that they swallow whole.
So that's one thing
The other thing is that a lot of people tend to believe that turkeys cannot fly. They are big, lumbering birds, sort of prehistoric-looking, so maybe the presumption is they have not evolved far enough along yet to fly. But the fact is that they are superb flyers. At night, they roost way up in the treetops. How'd they get way up there?
Yep. You guessed it.
Got shingles? (not that kind of shingles)
Okay, now we need to talk about roofs for a minute so this story can come together. We used to live in Las Vegas, and in the southwest, just about every house has a tile roof. But here in southern Oregon, almost every house has a composition shingle roof. It's designed to resist sun damage so the asphalt shingle is embedded with a highly reflective, gritty gravel-like material.
You probably see where this is headed.
There's a couple of things you may not know about wild turkeys. They don't have teeth. So their digestive system requires something called grit. Grit is basically small gravel and pebbles that they eat. Not too flavorful but it does the trick to break down seeds and other tough, fibrous food that they swallow whole.
So that's one thing
The other thing is that a lot of people tend to believe that turkeys cannot fly. They are big, lumbering birds, sort of prehistoric-looking, so maybe the presumption is they have not evolved far enough along yet to fly. But the fact is that they are superb flyers. At night, they roost way up in the treetops. How'd they get way up there?
Yep. You guessed it.
Got shingles? (not that kind of shingles)
Okay, now we need to talk about roofs for a minute so this story can come together. We used to live in Las Vegas, and in the southwest, just about every house has a tile roof. But here in southern Oregon, almost every house has a composition shingle roof. It's designed to resist sun damage so the asphalt shingle is embedded with a highly reflective, gritty gravel-like material.
You probably see where this is headed.
Turkeys on the roof
No, they didn't get on the roof at our house, fortunately. They got on my neighbor's roof. Ron, we will call him.
Ron and his wife, Denise, liked to sprinkle bird feeder seeds and nuts around the backyard for the turkeys.
It's not that unusual here in southern Oregon. Folks enjoy watching them. And a variety of wildlife, including wild turkeys,
adds a certain touch of ambiance to the country cottage lifestyle package. Everyone knows that.
And Ron and Denise didn't mind that much to see a large flock of wild turkeys roosting on their roof.
Only they weren't roosting.
After a couple of weeks or so, Ron and Denise noticed that their pet turkeys seemed to be spending a lot of time up on the roof. At that point, Ron started wondering what was going on up there. Like a good pilgrim, one fine morning in September, he put the ladder on the side of the house and climbed up to take a gander.
Good thing too.
So what were they doing up there? They were scratching and clawing and pecking the roof to shreds - wild turkey style.
Peck. Peck. Peck.
Live and learn
Well, live and learn. Wild turkeys can literally eat your roof. Anyway, Ron says the whole thing about country cottage ambiance and a diverse wildlife population... highly over-rated.
One final footnote
The actual damage to the roof was total. It had to be completely replaced. Cost of the new roof: $6,000.
Peck. Peck. Peck.
My helpful observation for Ron and Denise:
Hummingbirds are very nice to watch and they don't eat much.
Self-publishing
Are there wild turkeys sitting on the rooftops in self-publishing? I don't think so (well, I guess there is here in Myrtle Creek). However, there are things that can happen - unexpected things - that can definitely be a setback for a publishing project. It's good to have an experienced guide who has been down the road a time or two. THE ROAD TO AMAZON can be a fun adventure. And that's exactly my goal with the self-publishing services that I offer!
Are there wild turkeys sitting on the rooftops in self-publishing? I don't think so (well, I guess there is here in Myrtle Creek). However, there are things that can happen - unexpected things - that can definitely be a setback for a publishing project. It's good to have an experienced guide who has been down the road a time or two. THE ROAD TO AMAZON can be a fun adventure. And that's exactly my goal with the self-publishing services that I offer!